Liz Benigno

a view from the porch

Young Mamas and YaYas

liz benignoComment

My baby's having a baby. And she lives in far away California. There is so much for her to know and ask and be worried about and who will be there to tell her it's all going to be okay?

Joanie needs a YaYa nearby. A small group of my friends call one another the YaYas. You all have and know a YaYa. You know, the friends of your moms's that you love and trust. And who just may stick their nose into your business (even if you don't want them to) because they consider themselves family. 

We YaYas didn't necessarily agree on how to raise kids. Some let our kids "cry it out" while others didn't, some nursed past a year and others thought that was just a wee bit weird, some of the kids were thumb suckers while others used pacifiers. As the kids got older some of us concerned ourselves with junk food, bed times, how much TV they could watch, certain amount of reading a day, curfews, when to let them wear bikinis, when to date... Nope, we didn't necessarily agree on any of the "big things". 

But, these really aren't the big things. The world just tells you they are. You know, that if you "do it" just right you will have perfect kids. But, it's a lie. Here's what is true young mamas~

1. It's going to be okay. All of the above will work itself out. There are a lot of late-potty-trained, tv watching, former thumb sucking humans out there that have turned out just fine.

2. Find yourself a YaYa. A women who is older, more experienced and trustworthy. A woman with strength, dignity and a sense of purpose. And then let her speak truth into your life about what's really important about raising kids (you know, the character qualities of a human). She might get bossy and tell you that you need to tell your kid "No" more often, and that they need to say "Please and thank you", but she's just trying to help you raise a self disciplined grateful adult human. 

And to all you potential YaYas, make your rich deep faith and life experience available to our young women. They need you. 

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanders or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women... Titus 2